Does this get interesting any time soon? In this age of reality television, "staged amateurism" isn't exactly gripping. Aren't documentaries supposed to be fact-based?

Well, that was depressing!

That is one cute but damaged young man. TIM must have loved having this situation fall into their lap because they have manipulated into what it has become.

Ok, Martin, I've met Ryan and he's an incredibly sweet and serious guy and I happen to know that this is all real. So say what you will, but the guy is working through some of the most heinous shit I could imagine. Yes, it's fucked up that he's being more or less forced to share this with the world, but that is what it is. Ryan is a truly gifted (and handsome!) guy and he has my complete support. justin

I'm trying to remember this gay novel I read in the late 80's. Opens with the main character in jail. Years ago, he'd been tossed from home for being gay (I think) and had gotten involved with a pornographer, sort of an evil guy, but then veered away from him. Main character's younger bro, who loved him, went looking for him. He finds the pornographer and gets involved with him, and eventually the pornographer tortures and kills younger bro. Main character is in jail for killing the pornographer. Left me with a profound sadness. Anyone else read that? Wish I could recall the title or author. Interesting. And yes, Ryan is indeed handsome.

I am sitting here trying to think of the words to describe what I am thinking. How anyone can say that this wasn't interesting is beyond me. Great work. It is very emotional and powerful. Martin how dare you compare this to the trash on tv?!

Its art. You either get it, or you don't.

I first encounted your work by viewing the intro to Island. I was confused. I was like starting a book 3/4 the way through. I went to the beginning and only then did I better understood your story & your work.

This is amazing work you do. Its the most basic and yet complicated art I've encountered online. I hope you know just how talented you are (I have this feeling you don't hear that very often at TIM). You have to keep producing your story - your art - for yourself & for those of us that appreciate and crawl toward the next video window that you openned to us. Thanks!!

WOW, Very powerful!!!!!!! Keep up the good work Ryan! I look forward to seeing more! Two tumbs up!!!!!!!!!!!!

very interesting / great to something different out there

I find Ryan's film to be one of the most compelling things I've ever seen, honestly. And I've seen a lot.

DANNY, if you do think of the name of that book, please let me know, that would be great.

Wow! I've been watching this since it started and this episode was a complete surprise. I feel sorry for you Ryan but admire your strength and determination to complete your movie. Family business should stay private but like another guy said you're being forced since your brother works for T.I.M. Keep up the good work and I look forward to your next short film.

Your story is incredible and at times inconceivable. I can't imagine how this feels being public but I can imagine some good and healing forming from this. I think leaving and going on the road is the best idea. You need a blank place to let this all settle and rest. I wish you well on your journey.

I liked it. I thought very powerful. How do you deal with it Ryan watching your brother in such vulnerable, naked sex acts....and on top of it, finding out what your father was doing to him. Heavy, heavy stuff

this has to be one of the most compelling documentaries that I have ever seen...at times its really hard to watch.. it shows the issues that a lot of people dont see or want to see ..but its the truth..thank you Ryan and i wish the best for you and your family

You said you're heading on the road. Going to see your dad?

@Mark: I'll let you know if I find it. The thing is, I think the coincidences here may strain credibility. Not that the films aren't arty and entertaining. Who knows.

wow, Thanksgiving with the fam will take a whole new meaning this year. "Dad, please pass the Turkey... by the way I know you have no problem passing your meat around because YOU PASSED YOURS IN MY BIG BROTHERS ASS FOR YEARS WHEN HE WAS A KID YOU SICK FUCK!" "Mom, please pass the potatoes"

not to make light of a heavy situation but I mean c'mon its obvious what his earlier molestation did to the guy. Its like the typical porn/ prostitution thing. Daddy fucks you and you end up on the stripper pole. Same thing just different sex. Poor guy. I hope he gets help and realizes he can have intimacy and love.

WOW again what a moving piece. Didn't like the Vegas stuff and the scattered mags, but maybe I didn't understand that part. Both of you are going through so much shame they can't do it together.

Very impressive!

WOW indeed! I broke down in tears when I saw this. I love you both.

I can't help but wonder how you feel now about Paul and TIM. The scene with John and Brad McGuire from "Breeding Season 2", aptly named "Used and abused" by Paul was hard enough to watch even before seeing this episode. Now it almost feels like a reenactment of the rape John experienced at the hands of his own father. How sad that John would rather be punched in the face than kissed by "faggots".

Yes, John consented to the scene and to this interview but he has consented to a lot of things that other less damaged individuals might not have. I can't help but feel that he is being exploited by Paul. Hopefully, with the help of a good therapist or a good man or both, John will eventually get his life together. But these movies and even this interview will follow him for the rest of his life.

I don't know if there is a statue of limitations on child molestation where you lived or how long ago this happened (I have a feeling it started before John was "17 or 18") but maybe you should be showing this to the police. There can be no doubt about the harmful effects this has had on John's life.

Powerful. I am humbled by your willingness to share this journey with us. This one blurred the line between art and psychotherapy. I am sorry for your brother's trauma, but I am just as sorry that you must bear witness. I hope that you will consider seeking the help of a good therapist for your own sake.

WOW!!!...Ryan you truly are an artist. I hope you & your brother come out stronger men out of this. Do seek therapeutic help, for your own well being.

@ Danny & Mark, when I 1st came out my parents threw me out & disowned me. I had a gr8 friend who let me crash at his place till I got on my feet. He had that novel & cautioned me against reading it, telling me it was a depressing tale that would leave me deeply disturbed. I read it none the less, and tho it was a profusely saddening tale, it's strangely empowering. The story lines of Ryan, Tim, his brother and the novel are eerily/chillingly similar. I'll never forget that book , it's still one of my favorites, my 1st gay read...the "Boys of Life" by Paul Russel. Highly recomend it

Well that explains some things. Very moving piece. I agree with other posters, you should make sure you talk to someone about all this.

@Cj: Wow, thanks! That is indeed the book. My point about the similarities, and I"m not the first one to raise it, is whether this might be a fully-scripted Paul Morris pastiche rather than a genuine as-it-happens account by the young Ryan. An interesting question whatever the answer, and the similarity to "Boys of Life" was so startling I wondered if it was not a departure point for this.

According to Google, there are 129 million books in the world which is the figure they are using as part of their project to put every book in print online. The likelihood that something published might resemble one person's life is therefore pretty high (60 to 1). And that is a conservative estimate in my opinion since it only takes into account books currently in print.


I discovered this series around #40 and then went back to watch it from the beginning soon after. Watching it all in one sitting I can see the evolution of Ryan's skill that started out as a little mural of tangentally related incidents which then slowly evolved into a documentary of sorts. The early episodes especially seem to lack any intention or focus, which to me indicates it is exactly what Ryan said it was from the beginning.

After more than 300 minutes of work to date, I have yet to see anything concrete that makes me think it is anything less than real. I've seen enough TIM videos, and met enough of the people that work there, to doubt anyone in that company has the creativity to make a fake docu-drama like some of you contend this is. I suppose the argument could be made someone has been hired to do just that however such supposition is conjecture and nothing more since there is no evidence to disprove Ryan - something that no one in two years has been able to produce.

If this is a real accounting of Ryan's perspective and life - which I think it is - it is a compelling and interesting piece of work that examines a different side of gay men and porn that we rarely see.

However if it is fiction, it is still a compelling and interesting piece of meta-art from an insider's point of view and opinion of the very industry he works in, regardless if it is authentic or manufactured.

I think we should accept it as true - until proven otherwise.

Still, there are legitimate questions. If someone making a documentary about BP have any credibility if they took a job from BP?

How can anyone do 50 episodes about Treasure Island Media and still not directly deal with the elephant in the room - barebacking? How can the brother of an HIV positive man, one clearly influenced by T.I.M., not have a problem with Paul Morris, who once described HIV negativity as the "new virginity?"

Just because I reject the conservative Christian idea that sex for pleasure is immoral doesn't mean I don't think there can sometimes be a moral dimension to sexuality and sexual behavior.

I truly believe we are our brother's keepers. It is not enough to accept barebacking as a choice an adult has a right to make. If we had a friend who wanted to commit suicide we would do all in our power to try and stop them. If we had a friend addicted to drugs we wouldn't just accept that as their "choice".

If someone was making movies glamorizing Meth use and if even a few people were being influenced to try it as a result, would businesses like Chaps and City Entertainment be throwing DVD release parties for them? What if a homophobic straight man was making these movies, would we still buy them? What's the difference?

I have spent hours tonight watching all of your videos. You are an amazing artist. They only got better and better. I can't wait for the next one.

Wonder how John's dad raped him while keeping a knee on his back? Must've been one limber motherfucker.

Claude said: "How can anyone do 50 episodes about Treasure Island Media and still not directly deal with the elephant in the room - barebacking?"

..

You gotta be fucking kidding! :)

T.I.M. = sex without condoms.

Where's the freakin' elephant? LOL

..

Ryan, enjoy the travelling, have fun.

intense. raw. i like it.

tezza - This began supposedly as an independent documentary about T.I.M. before Ryan was hired by them. As such, it attracted people like me who are not necessarily fans but who wanted to gain insight and hear their rationale for why they do what they do.

There is no way a real documentary filmmaker would do a film about T.I.M. and not discuss barebacking. As you said, T.I.M. = sex without condoms, and out here in the real world there are A LOT of people who don't think that is a good idea. You might not realize that if you surround yourself with people who support bb but a "documentary" should show both sides.